Seattle teacher clueless and cruel is What Got To Me Today!

When I was about thirteen, I remember not being allowed into a home while wearing my winter coat, because it smelled like smoke.  True, I lived with a smoking parent (didn't we all back then?), and the house in question was a non-smoking house (I totally get it because as an adult, my house is a non-smoking house and I can't stand the smell of smoke either). I was met, however, by the homeowner, with an "ewww...you're going to have to stay out in the garage until you get that coat off, I don't want it in my house."  Well, I was totally mortified and embarrassed, which is probably why I still remember it today. 

Now, take that mortification and multiply it by 1000.  This has got to be how it felt for an eight year old girl in Seattle when her teacher kicked her out of the classroom because the scent of her hair (from a hair product) made the teacher ill.  It is reported the teacher also told the girl she was allergic to her hair, even though she wasn't allergic to her own dog's hair, before kicking her out.  She said  the hair made her feel faint and like she was going to vomit.  This happened openly in front of the little girl's classmates.  Add to it that the little girl is bi-racial, the only ethnic student in the advanced placement class, and that she was outcast first to the hallway, and then to a lower level class because of the way her hair (product) smelled. 

Okay...let me take a deep breath here because I am so outraged by this that if I don't, my hands will shake too much for me to type.

What in the h*** is this woman doing in a classroom if she can't even realize the negative and hurtful impact her words and actions are going to have on this little girl?  According to the father, who is African-American, he has been encouraging his daughter to not give in to peer pressure to straighten her hair like her white classmates.  He writes on his blog, "I want her to know she's beautiful".  So, in compromise, the girl wears a hair lotion (Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Moisturizing Hair Lotion) to keep her hair in a natural state.

I understand that some people have real physical reactions to chemicals and perfumes.  That isn't the issue.

The issue is how the teacher treated the little girl.
The issue is how the teacher never contacted the parents. 
The issue is how the school didn't return the parent's call, or deal at all with the situation, when the girl told her parent's what had happened.

So, if the situation continued to be ignored, the little girl would no longer be allowed into the advanced placement class.

Well, needless to say, due to the failed response of the school, the matter has escalated.  The parent's do not wish to send the girl to school in the current environment.  The NAACP has stepped in, and the school has turned to it's lawyers.  By what I've read so far, there has been no action to the teacher, and no apology to the little girl or her family.

If the teacher would have made her concerns known to the parents, it is very likely they may have changed products to alleviate the problem, in a way that was sensitive to the girl's self-esteem.  The teacher had a real opportunity here to create a supportive environment, and even turn it into a teaching moment.  Instead, this young girl will never forget how she was singled out, insulted, embarrassed in front of her peers, her hair compared to that of a dog, and demoted to a lesser level of learning.

I remember a smoky winter coat from 23 years ago.  You cannot tell me this 8 year old little girl will forget.

A non-spoiler review: Sex and the City

Don't worry, this isn't going to be the kind of review that ruins it for you if you haven't seen it yet.  This is actually going to be pretty quick and to the point.  For those who have seen it, it is a sequel.  With the exception of the Harry Potter series, when is a sequel ever better than the first film? But to fans of Kerry, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte, we don't need an oscar.  We just want to see how our girls are doing.

Well, they are aging, which is evident (except for Charlotte--naturally age defying), but we don't care because we are all getting older too.  Women audiences are always complaining there aren't enough roles for over-40 women in Hollywood, so this is just one more case where older women are gorgeous, smart and sophisticated.

I want to elaborate on the "smart" part. This film may have been a fluff film, for entertainment purposes only, but don't you be fooled, especially with Sarah Jessica Parker at the helm.  Here is the list of political points made in the film.  Kudos ladies, kudos!

• gay marriage and how it is only legal in five states
• the transition of straight men from less accepting to more accepting of gay men
• surrogacy/pregnancy surrogate
• difficulties of motherhood
• recognition of how hard it is for mothers who cannot afford nannies or outside help
• women's rights or lack thereof in the middle east
• women's sexual freedoms
• discrimination against women in American boardrooms
• variations of infidelity
• individualized marriages, which rules work for whom?
• aging, gracefully or not?
• independent married women

Then of course, on the gorgeous candystore of fashion side of things...we were not disappointed.  The shoes, the clothes, the make-up, the accessories and jewelry...dripping and sparkling and a downright golden goo-fest...which we LOVE!

And yes please, bring on the hunks..Big (my personal fave), Aiden, Smyth, even Harry and Steve if you are into the adorable type make their appearances...and a new one, Ricard...a steamy Aussie who showed himself (actually more of himself than any of the others!)  throughout the second half of the film...it is rated R, after all.

What the critics say is true...there is a lot less sex and a lot less City.  The two things missing that I found noticeable and a bit of a bummer were the absence of the theme music anywhere in the film.  It opened to Alicia Keys instead of the piano we all love--so much it's my ringtone!  The other thing missing, which my husband James pointed out (yes, my husband who has watched and enjoyed the series with me since the beginning...yeah, he's awesome) was Kerry's writing.  Not once do we see her words typed across the screen.  We see her old apartment, we see the laptop on the desk...not seeing her typing away is like seeing Peyton Manning on the sidelines, just watching the ball.  (Did I really throw an NFL comparison into the story?  Yep, I like sparkle and football).

Anyway, it was nice to see the girls and where they are in their lives.  It was fun to laugh at the witty writing that is signature Sex and the City.  It was terrific to get lost in the fashoin and glitz and it was an awesome excuse to have a date night with my hubby.

If you've been a follower, it's worth it to see it.

Sports For Chicks: 10 year old runner inspires on a national platform

Photo by Julie Charney

Sometimes it takes awhile for our kids to find their niche, the one or two interests that will fuel them through childhood and adolescence. For Lauren Charney, a 10 year old fourth- grader from Saline, it wasn't until third grade that she truly found her passion. Running.

Not only has the sport inspired Lauren, but it has given her the platform to inspire other girls to run too. A national platform.

Although Lauren participates in other sports, it is running that "makes me feel like I can do anything." When I asked Lauren what advice she would give other girls who might be a little shy about putting their first step forward, she didn't hesitate in giving credit to Girls On the Run. Girls On the Run has given Lauren a vehicle to great achievement and put her in a place to inspire all of us.Girls On the Run is a non-profit, non-competitive organization. According to their website,

"Girls on the Run® is a life-changing, experiential learning programs for girls age eight to thirteen years old. The programs combine training for a 3.1 mile running event with self-esteem enhancing, uplifting workouts. The goals of the programs are to encourage positive emotional, social, mental, spiritual and physical development."

Lauren Charney has taken her running a step further. Turns out her love of the sport and inspirational attitude has launched her to a place where she is one of six national finalists in the Kelloggs 2010 Junior Achievement Awards. She has already been flown to Chicago for a photo/video shoot, and is now being featured on the Kelloggs webisite competing for the 2010 ESPY award. She will fly to Los Angeles later this summer to attend the ESPY breakfast, where the winner will be announced. The winner will then attend the ESPY Award Ceremony that evening. To learn more about Lauren and vote her to to the top, go to www.frostedflakes.com.

Lauren has learned more than how to prepare for a race (like loading up on healthy peanut butter waffles and warming up her muscles with jumping jacks). She has learned what it is like to be supported by a community, to have self-esteem, to feel empowered to do anything.

Sometimes it takes a little time for our kids to really find what it is they are looking for. When they do, it is important for us as parents to support them, find outlets for them to go after what they dream of that gives them a sense of purpose and accomplishment. We all could learn a lot from girls like Lauren. It is never too late to take the first step.

The "Beauty" of Tennis: Sports For Chicks on Tennis

I love tennis season!  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer usually end up sweating it out in the finals of any given tournament, adding to the beauty of summertime.  Despite their ease on our eyes, they are both electrifying on the court. The French Open (clay courts) in Paris is underway this weekend. Nadal has an upper hand on clay, where he is so much more comfortable than many other players.  For those who are loyal fans of U.S. players, Andy Roddick is currently ranked eighth in the world, and is sure to give those ranked above him a real run for their money. 

On the women's court, Williams sisters Serena and Venus lead the world rankings in spots one and two.  Every year we wonder which sister will top the other in rankings.  This year, Serena leads.  I don't know about you, but I am inspired by these women everytime I see them play.  They are strong and explosive, both with daunting serves and unbeatable stamina.  I can't wait to see them play and often wonder if we'll see them head to head in the finals.  Then truly, who do I root for?  I remember the first time they were in the finals at Wimbledon and we got to see them in Prime Time on a Saturday night.  So awesome!

Competitive world tennis season is here:  The French Open, Wimbledon, The Australian Open, the US Open in NY.  It will be so exciting to see how our favorite players compete, see the upsets and the killer shots, hear the grunts and gasps of the crowds and get sucked into the drama.

And yes, I'm not above saying it, welcome back to television Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal.  We've missed "seeing" you.  Happy Summer!

What Got To Me Today? I will not be quiet for hackers!

So this got to me Thursday, and is still getting me today. For those of you who read me, you probably know I have a website called Successful Women Weekly (www.successfulwomenweekly.com) where I feature all kinds of information about women.  I have a star feature of the month with a bio of an inspirational woman.  There is a Women In the News page, local woman owned Biz of the week, and a Champion For Women page that features a business or organization doing right by women.

The latter is where I seem to have attracted some opposition who felt they had the right to hack me.  As most of you know, I do a lot of writing on women's rights both domestically and across the globe.  I give kudos to people trying to help women who are abused or oppressed or both. I give kudos to those who try and make a difference in women's lives.

It is my right to write about these people.
It is my right to expose some of the terrible issues women face.
It is my right to celebrate the women who are successful.
It is my right to write about the losers who have tried to suppress my voice on my blog.

You will not stop me, you only fuel me.  I will continue to speak out and inform, and if you don't like it,  I guess you'll try and hack me again but I will keep coming back.

Here is to women on the rise.

Thank you.

Sports For Chicks: What to do about Roethlisberger

Okay ladies, I need some feedback.  Last month I posted about how dispicable it is that Ben Roethlisberger, star quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, only received a 4-6 week suspension from game play after he continues to particpate in sexually abusive behavior toward women.  Here is an excerpt from my previous blog:

For those of you unfamiliar with this particular topic, here it is in a nutshell:  Ben Roethlisberger is the beloved quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He has been accused of sexually assaulting a 20 year old woman in a bathroom while two of his cronies guarded the door.  He did not rebut the charges.  This is not his first alleged sexual abuse.  He kind of has a habit of women accusing him of not knowing the meaning of "no means no". This is the second time he's had to say something like, " I'm sorry this makes my team look bad" but never sorry to the girl.

The question now becomes, what are we, the women football fans, going to do about it?  I got a couple of comments from that blog, but have had many discussions as to whether or not there should be a real boycott of big Ben from lady fans.  Do we think we can make a difference?  Should we contact some national women's organizations to try and get some publicity behind us?  Is this a good way to bring awareness to rape and domestic abuse, while making sure our beloved NFL doesn't let these kinds of athletes bear their awesome logo?

I'm a huge NFL fan.  This is not to make our favorite teams look bad (Go Lions!), I just think the NFL Commissioner should know that a lot of women pay for their sport.  We deserve a little respect, not a slap in the face compared to Ben Roethlisberger's slap on the wrist.

You tell me... should we go for it? 

"Don't Ask Don't Tell" is dangerous. It's time to repeal. This is What Got To Me Today.

I get what President Clinton was trying to do with the implementation of "Don't Ask Don't Tell" in the military.  The idea behind it was to somehow protect gay soldiers, figuring if they weren't "outed", then there could be no repercussions. 

Well, DADT has been a disaster.

Not only does it treat gay soldiers like second class citizens, it has cost the Pentagon hundreds of thousands of dollars in tax payer funds and has implemented the discharge of over 13,500 good, American soldiers.  I don't think people realize what kind of expertise we are losing because of a person's sexual preferences.  The Palm Center at the University of California Santa Barbara has released data obtained from the Freedom of Information Act, and not only shows how many soldiers were discharged because of DADT, but what positions or specialties they served.  According the website:

"For the first time, we can now trace how many gays and lesbians have been discharged from each military base, and how many service members in each distinct job category have been discharged for homosexuality. According to the data, for example, between 1998-2003, the military discharged 49 nuclear, biological, and chemical warfare specialists, 90 nuclear power engineers, 52 missile guidance and control operators, 150 rocket, missile and other artillery specialists, and 340 infantrymen.  


I don't know about you but I would feel a lot better if these people were still serving us.  For discharge lists by base and job positions, click here.


I ran across an article today by P. Scott, a political blogger for Care2Make a Difference.  It prompted me to check out the website of the Service Member's Legal Defense Network (SMLD).  There, there are letters posted that have been sent to President Obama, in an attempt to urge him to repeal DADT.  Former Army Seargent Tracey Cooper-Harris wrote this letter:

May 10, 2010

President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500 Dear Mr. President,

My name is Tracey Cooper-Harris. I served in the Army for 12 years, reaching the rank of Sergeant. As a soldier and a non-commissioned officer (NCO), I performed my duties with honor and distinction. I was lauded by my peers and superiors for going above and beyond the status quo to complete the mission.

And, I am gay.

I lived in constant fear serving under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” I was always looking over my shoulder, censoring what I said and keeping as much physical distance as possible between my military life and my personal life.

Even with this vigilance, I was found out by some male “friends” at my first duty assignment. I was just 19 years old. The deal was simple: Perform sexual favors and my secret was safe.

I had a choice: report these men for “sexual harassment/cohesion” and end my military career or submit to their demands.

Despite the military’s “zero tolerance” policy on sexual harassment, it doesn’t apply to those forced in the closet under DADT. I was sexually blackmailed and just a teenager.

At that time, as well as other times during my military service, I had seen friends discharged under DADT who were in similar situations. My friends were discharged, while their perpetrators were given a slap on the wrist.

The signal from command was clear: being gay was a far more serious offense in the military than sexually harassing a fellow service member. I ultimately chose what I believed was the best decision for me at the time. I let these men have their way with me in exchange for their silence.

I am not proud of what I did, but I loved my job too much to let it destroy my career before it had even started.

My decision didn’t come without consequences. I was eventually diagnosed with an STD which could potentially lead to cervical cancer later in life.

I, frankly, am still ashamed of what I had to do to stay in the Army. I wasn’t discharged under DADT, but left because of it. I continue to attend counseling sessions provided by the Department of Veterans Affairs for what I went through. The memories still come back to haunt me some 16 years later.

I don't want to see other service members go through what I went through. And unfortunately, this will continue to happen as long as DADT is law.

As long as a recruit or military member meets or exceeds the criteria for military service, let them serve. A bullet doesn’t discriminate because of a person’s race, gender identity, sex, religion, or sexual orientation, so why does the U.S. military continue to do so?

The time to repeal DADT is long overdue. Please, Mr. President, do the right thing.

Respectfully yours,
Former Sgt. Tracey L. Cooper-Harris
United States Army

Really?  Are we honestly going to say as a society that it is better for women (and men too) to subject themselves to sexual abuse because we would rather have that than openly admit we have gay soldiers?  It is infuriating!


I have never been in the military, so maybe I am missing something.  I just don't see what the big deal is?  A trained American soldier is a trained American soldier.  Period.  Whether or not they are hetero- or homosexual doesn't change the fact they are serving our country, protecting our people, and sacrificing themselves for the cause. 

Speaking of sacrifice, what does a system like DADT say to those gay soldiers who have already given their lives for our country?  What does it say to their families?  How could we value these men and women any less than any other soldier? 

Currently there are twenty-five other nations who openly allow gays in the military and it is a non-issue.

I, for one, hope the same will be true for our military, and the rest of society for that matter.  A person's sexual orientation is none of anyone's business. A Defense Authorization Bill is pending in Washington D. C.  The time is upon us.

It is time to repeal "Don't Ask Don't Tell".